Quick Entertaining Piece

Bending The Construct

By: Rahim Mason

     At some point in time or another I’m sure everyone has heard the “time is a construct” hoopla, but many aren’t exactly sure what it means or just how accurate it is.

     But I’m not here to argue or converse about theory, instead I’d like to illuminate the eventual possibility to control the construct that is time. But this blessing, like with most others, begins with a - -

    “Achoo!” Such a vigorous sneeze sends a tumultuous tremor and jolt of nerves streaking through your body. The nerves of your spine cause a sudden chilling wave of goosebumps across every inch of skin. For a sneeze like this, you’d definitely think “bless you”, “gesundheit”, or even “salud” is soon coming but as you look around you realize the blessing. 

     While running your fingers across the newly acquired goosebumps you catch a glimpse of the time on your watch. It’s 11:00 am, according to your watch which you set to be 5 minutes fast. But that’s not the only thing you notice. Amidst feeling the chills you see your motions existentially from an astral projected field. Initially you’re slightly feeling lightheaded and out of breath. But as you regain the wind in your lungs and the neurons in your brain begin to settle, you can’t help but see 10:55 am on the wall clock. The only problem is, the second hand isn’t moving at all.

     Now, in a moment of complete awareness it has become all but clear to you that all clocks have suddenly stopped. In your mind you contemplate, “Is this real?” “Why do I feel like I’m floating?” “Did I just sneeze myself out of time?” So many questions, yet, so few answers. One thing you know for sure, this is like nothing you’ve ever seen. That being said, does whatever that happens afterward alter in importance? While you’re staying as still as the Statue of Liberty, your mind is racing like the traffic on the busy bustling streets down below. Then suddenly you become overwhelmed and taken by a tidal wave that comes in the form of a sense of instantaneous purpose, you decide to make the most of this moment “out of time”. 

     First thing’s first, after checking the time for the third time, you come to terms that this unforeseen phenomena came at the right time because you just remembered your 11 o'clock Saturday brunch date. Gaining some composure over your body and trying not to lose grip of your astrally projected self, you manage to rise from the cozy reclining seat in which you were comfortably seated. As you make your way over to the closest window you notice that even your usual morning program has come to a halt on an ad, and you know for certain you haven’t paused it because realistically we all skip ads given we have the option. Upon reaching the window you notice a flock of birds in mid flight yet they weren’t moving at all. In a moment of dread and trepidation, the thought comes to mind despite how hard you fought it, “Do I have any clean clothes, and if I do, are the clothes ‘brunch date’ appropriate?” Because after all, you don’t get a second chance at a first impression. 

     As you retreat from the draftiness of your 15th floor loft window and head to your closet you notice that the ad that is playing is the one you especially loathe, yet it makes you laugh every time. You know, the one where the young employee was late to work due to every reason known to man. First, as he was walking out of the door he twists and locks the doorknob closing and locking the door to his home. Almost immediately he realizes he doesn’t have the house key. After a fit of frustration and a few expletive words he feels around for his key fob to his 2018 royal blue Chevy Camaro with keyless entry, luckily enough it was in his pocket. Unfortunately, as he was reaching in his pocket for the fob a bird swoops over him and drops a load right on his shoulder. 

     Now, being beyond infuriated, he angrily presses the unlock button on the fob and gets in the car. Soon as he’s in, he reaches over for the glovebox where the napkins are and abruptly begins scrubbing his shoulder where the bird had marked its territory. The tardy and profusely angry employee then looks up and sees what appears to be a ticket on the windshield. Quickly getting out to grab the ticket he looks down and much to his surprise some jerk had put a boot on his wheel and this sends him over the edge with rage. Overly discontent with the happenings of the morning so far, he checks the time and sees that he has 20 minutes to get to his job which is 30 minutes away. After taking the timberland off of his wheel, he looks at the presumed “ticket” and it reads: “GOTCHA”. He quickly hops in the car and says “After a start like this I need a big cup of coffee, I know the lines will be long but better late than never.” And with one rev of the engine he was off into traffic.

     After shaking your head and a slight coy chuckle you proceed to your walk-in closet where you notice the clothing situation was worse than you thought. You manage to put together a fairly decent ensemble although it was slightly wrinkled. You surmise that if you don’t get going you may be late, because who knows how long the bend of the construct will last. As you begin a dash for the door, you check for your necessities, all systems are a go. Once your door is locked behind you, you make it to the speedy elevator in the building and soon after you’re at ground level. Upon exiting the elevator you see the clock in the lobby says 10:55 am, and seeing that you dart out the lobby and down the street towards the nearby coffee shop. When you arrive you it appears that your date hasn't made it yet, and in that brief moment of an exhale, a - -

     “Achoo!” Another vigorous sneeze into the bend of your arm. Only this time when you look up, your date is there saying “Bless you.”